The Hypocrisy of Nudist Resorts and Organizations
The first thing I want to say is that not all swingers are nudists, and not all nudists are swingers. I happen to live in both worlds, and I think I know how to exist in both worlds. I have been on nude cruises, clothing optional cruises, topless cruises, nude beaches, lots of both nude resorts and swinger or “lifestyle” events. I know how to behave in all of these places, and I have never had an issue in the past 25 years, enjoying incredible experiences in both worlds.
Caliente Resort
I remember Caliente when there was just the tiki bar and a small rectangular pool. They had big plans to build a 5-star resort, and I watched as it went up.
After it was built, I was invited to join a meeting at Caliente Resort almost 20 years ago to help attract “lifestyle” individuals to the resort. The resort, which opened in 2004, was in trouble because its target market audience wasn’t paying the bills. The nudists who visited Caliente wanted to lie naked by the amazing pool and enjoy the high-end amenities, but they were not as interested in paying for the drinks or the food at the bars and restaurants, and they balked at the price of memberships.
The resort was hemorrhaging money, and its business model of marketing to naturists was unsustainable. They needed more members, people to patronize the spa, restaurants, bar & nightclub, and more buyers for the condos and villas being built on the property. But how would they expand their client list to include people who would readily spend that kind of money? That’s when I got the call.
“How do we get ‘lifestyle’ people in here?” they asked. “We heard they will spend money and pay for amenities”. I remember telling them that they needed to relax some of their rules. “Like what?” the architect's wife asked me. “Like your rules against excessive tattoos and no body piercings below the neck. Times were changing, and tattoos and body piercings were becoming increasingly commonplace and popular among lifestyle communities. If you want to bring them here, you can’t outlaw them before they get here based on these puritanical and outdated rules,” I said.
Her face tightened, and I could tell she was not having it. “What am I supposed to tell my grandkid when they see a guy with a Prince Albert piercing (a common male genital piercing that passes through the urethra and exits from the underside of the head of the penis)? “I don’t know,” I said, “How did you explain to them why everyone is naked?” I shot back. “If you can get them past the fact that everyone is naked, something that is not normal to today’s kids, well, then you can certainly explain a few tattoos and piercings, which are very normal nowadays.”
It was not the warm welcome I had hoped for, but I immediately understood what was going on: their project was failing, and they needed more people like those who came to our events in order to survive. We talked more, and Caliente went in a different direction, moving forward. Their marketing became more sexual, and eventually, in 2008, they exited the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR), and today they are the most successful clothing-optional resort in North America.
Note: It wasn’t just my advice that saved them; the resort made significant efforts over the next 20 years to grow and sustain itself. However, losing their AANR affiliation did not harm them, and being able to expand their core customer base helped them grow and succeed.
That one time at an AANR Convention
I once testified on behalf of Live Oak Resort (Washington, TX) at an AANR convention because they were voting on whether or not to remove the club from its membership, even though they had a policy that stated “Overt sexual behavior or the appearance of such behavior is unacceptable at Live Oak Resort”. The owners knew that “lifestyle” parties were happening on the property, and they also knew that the people attending these parties were the ones helping to keep the resort financially feasible.
At that time, I advocated for AANR to allow nudist clubs to be listed as “Adults Only,” but this was a road they would refuse to go down, and yet another club removed itself from the organization.
At its peak, AANR had 260 clubs, but that number has since decreased to 180. They used to have over 51,000 members, and that number has almost been cut in half (they currently list 30,000 as their membership) as fewer and fewer people join and more and more AANR clubs decide to do away with their membership.
Recent Discrimination at a N. California Club
I recently visited a nudist resort located just south of Sacramento, and I was surprised by my initial reception. Instead of saying “Welcome” and greeting me in a positive way, I was greeted with animosity, not because of who I am (they did not know who I was yet), it turns out that is how most people are greeted (I found out later from members and people who live there).
I arrived at 3:30 pm and found out that the resort closed at 4 pm. “We don’t have time to run a background check and give you a full tour,” they told me. “If you do not have a reservation, you cannot be on this property”. I explained that I did and I showed them the confirmation email and tried to explain that I live on a nude beach (in Zipolite, MX), that I have been to at least 20 clothing-optional resorts, campgrounds and beaches over the past 25 years and that I understand why it is essential to understand the rules, and I would happily read them and agree to them.
They brought out the rules, which were several pages long, that over and over reiterated that there was to be no sexual activity, no exhibitionism, no voyeurism, and no photos. There would be no solicitation for sex and no “Swingers!”. I told them I understood and that we were just looking for a nice place to stay on our way to Burning Man, and I heard that this place was nice. I initially booked for a week, but I was having a new RV curtain shipped, and it wouldn’t arrive until the day after our stay, so we extended our stay for two more nights.
After I left, I sent them an email, and boy, was I shocked to see the reply. They basically stated that they noticed my email address was Bob@Naughty-Events.com and then proceeded to lecture me about the resort being an AANR-affiliated, family-friendly establishment. They emphasized that they did not support any adult or lifestyle behaviors or activities, especially those related to Naughty Events, including solicitations or invitations while on the property.
Excuse me? I was just trying to follow up on a package that was sent there by mistake. I did not need a lecture or to be accused of doing any of the things mentioned in this email. Here we go again (insert rolling eyes emoji here). The hypocrisy of nudist resorts is real, and I am so tired of them trying to lecture me and tell me how to behave. I know how to act, and I never did anything that warranted this lecture.
Interestingly, while at this resort (for nine nights), we were approached by a single male and several couples who invited us to play. We were also approached by many people who had attended our events and cruises. One couple told me that parties happen there all the time and that most (he thought it might be 80% of the people) are in open relationships, or at least enjoy going to events like ours and clothing-optional “lifestyle” cruises. We saw more pineapples at the resort than at any resort I have ever been to, and people wore sexy lingerie at the dances.
I wrote back and explained that I had never broken any rules, never given out any cards, promoted our business, and that we had never solicited anyone to play or do anything that was against their policies (even though others often approached us). Their response was that they hoped we would find a resort that fits our preferences in the future, and they stated that this would be the end of their communications with me.
This resort exists today because of the lifestyle clients who support it. Without them, there would be a mass exodus of people, leaving behind a ghost town.
When I asked people about this during my nine-night stay, they all said the same thing: that they ignored the office and just did what they wanted in private, and that swinging was alive and well inside the resort. The resort is so worried it could lose its AANR membership, it goes overboard to try to “stop” it from becoming known as a “Swinger’s” Resort. Still, anyone who stays there for more than a couple of days will know precisely what this place is (hint: It’s not a naturist resort, no matter how they try to pretend).
Why can’t we be ourselves?
If two singles can go to a nudist resort and get to know each other and eventually one asks the other out, why can’t a couple do that? We are all adults here, we can act like adults and be a nudist AND a swinger. I see no shame in either, and I find it hypocritical that one group would try to shame or outlaw another group based simply on their relationship style or their sexuality. As long as anything sexual happens behind closed doors, I see no reason why I shouldn’t be able to go to a nudist resort, wear an upside-down pineapple hat, and be myself.
Nudists just want to be left alone to enjoy social nudism without judgment or worse, restrictions from local, state, or federal authorities. This is why I find it hypocritical that they judge lifestyle people and publicly try to shame them and prohibit them from entering their “club”. If they want to restrict their public areas from sexual activity, I am all for that because that is illegal in most public places, and I understand why they want to protect themselves against legal issues, but openly saying that “swingers” are not welcome is a step too far.
“Swingers” are already at most nudist resorts and beaches, and they should not be discriminated against just because they live a lifestyle that is different from the owners, just like they should not discriminate against clients if they are part of the LGBT+ community. Can you imagine if someone could not wear a rainbow hat or put a rainbow flag on their golf cart or say that they were gay at a nudist resort? Resorts should not claim to be inclusive and then punish people for being in an alternative relationship.
Punish the act, not the person for who they are.
Conclusion
Nudist resorts want everyone to think that they are a pure form of naturism that is devoid of any thoughts of sexual desires or pleasure. That isn’t the reality. Nudist resorts are filled with lifestyle people who enjoy being naked and have nice amenities, especially pools and nightclubs. The nudist clubs and organizations like AANR know this, but they put up a front to have a more purist public image while knowing that without these people, most of the nicer nudist resorts could not exist.
We are not advocating for a boycott of any particular nudist resort. Still, we suggest that lifestyle couples should support clubs that support our lifestyle without making us feel like we have to hide in the shadows. Stop giving money to places that openly discriminate against us. Our dollars matter and can be better spent where we are accepted with open arms.
If you are a member of a club that discriminates against your relationship style, then let them know, be heard, and express your thoughts. You need them to know that you can abide by their “no sexual activity” while at their club, but that you want to be seen and allowed to exist as you are, and any discrimination towards your relationship style will not be accepted.
List of clothing-optional AND lifestyle-friendly clubs and resorts where you can be yourself
Here is a partial list of non-AANR clubs that welcome you to be yourself without discrimination, along with some quotes from their websites. (This list was compiled online and is not a personal reference for each club and may not be a total list of all lifestyle-friendly clubs.)
Barehide Ranch, Poolville, TX
“BE RESPECTFUL. We respect (and do not discriminate between) the different interpretations of the naked, lifestyle, or sexuality. I'M STRAIGHT/GAY/LESBIAN/TRANSGENDER/BI-SEXUAL/ET AL. WILL I BE ACCEPTED AT YOUR CLUB? We do not worry or focus on anyone's sex, sexual orientation, gender orientation, or preferences. We just want to meet fun, outgoing, and cool people who enjoy the freedom of being naked. No discrimination or judgment here.”
Caliente, Lutz, FL
“We keep a classy-sexy environment at Caliente. Overt sexual behavior in public spaces, or the appearance of such behavior, is unacceptable at Caliente. Behavior “never needing an apology” is the norm. In all cases, “No” means “No,” even if it began with a “Yes.” The act of “Hovering” is also considered unacceptable behavior. Feel free to introduce yourself, but if the other party does not express interest in further contact, one is expected to say “thank you” and move on.”
Club C3, New Burn, NC
“Club C3 is Clothing Optional both in the campground area and in the club area. That means you can be dressed or undressed in any way you desire with no pressure. LINGERIE, UNDERWEAR, or SEXY ATTIRE are welcome and encouraged! No means no. Share, laugh, talk, and just be yourself. Never touch someone without asking first or being invited to.”
Camp NCN North, Black River Falls, WI
“We are a SEXUAL FREEDOM CAMPGROUND. This means that you are free to explore your wild inhibitions without the judgment of the outside world. No discrimination, no judgments, and we are LGBT-friendly! All Lifestyles Welcome”
Cedar Hills, Mazomanie, WI
From their website: Cedar Hills is a welcoming and affirming property for campers of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Freedom Valley, Cushing, WI
“Our wish is to provide our guests and residents with an environment in which they feel the freedom to express themselves.”
Live Oak Resort, Washington, TX
“Overt sexual behavior or the appearance of such behavior is unacceptable at Live Oak Resort. Behavior "never needing an apology" is the norm.”
Mountain Creek Grove, Cleveland, GA
“predatory behavior, pushiness, and inappropriate public behavior will not be tolerated. The Grove maintains a strict NO MEANS NO policy.”
New Horizons, MI
“No means no, even if it began with yes. Overt sexual behavior, or even the appearance of overt sexual behavior, is not permitted. Gawking is not tolerated. Public sexual activity is not allowed. If the mood hits, please take it to the privacy of your own accommodations. Free your mind, the rest will follow.”
OTR4U, Wills Point, TX
Paradise Lakes, Lutz, FL
“Paradise Lakes Resort provides a playful, adult lifestyle environment; members are expected to follow proper etiquette and exercise respectful behavior. No means no. Silence does not mean yes - so ask first! Sexual activity is permitted only in designated areas, including playrooms and the upper playdeck, and after dark in and around the Conversation Pool and Hot Tub.”
Paradise Valley, Dawsonville, GA
“We welcome all walks of life, all lifestyles, couples, poly relationships, and singles. We don't judge a person's sexual preference; we want everyone to be relaxed, comfortable, and enjoy Valley Life. “
Pandora’s Resort, Crossville, TN
Playtime Acres, Penn Valley, CA
Pleasure Lake Retreat, Sparta, TN
This place has a clothing-optional pool, clubhouse, RV spots & Cabins for rent, and a playhouse.
Sea Mountain Inn, Las Vegas & Palm Springs
“A Lifestyles Experience – Clothing Optional – Nude- couples and women only – Nude lifestyles club lifestyles experience every day of the year.”
Spruce Hollow, Mesick, MI
“Lifestyle and Naturist both welcome: The Spruce is a very relaxing atmosphere where ladies can feel safe and free from being bothered. You will find both lifestyle and naturalist at the Spruce. This is a mixed club, and everyone respects one another. Nudity is allowed throughout Camp, but play is not in public view.”
Sunny Rest Resort, Palmerton, PA
“Sunny Rest Resort is a fun, sociable, and relaxed clothes-free resort with daily entertainment and modern facilities for all ages, genders, classes, races, and body types.”
Two Creeks Campground, Sandstone. MN
“We are all adults here!!! No means NO!!! (No explanation needs to be given as to why you said no. It would be nice, but it's not required, nor should you be coerced into giving an explanation as to why you said no. When outside of your private camper, cabin, etc., please use common sense when expressing sexual desires and wants with other consenting adults. If you're unsure, keep your sexual expression private.”