The Hypocrisy of Nudist Resorts and Organizations: Part 2

When I wrote the blog pointing out the hypocrisy about nudist resorts banning people for being swingers, while those very same people were keeping those resorts alive, I never would have expected some of the feedback I would get. Especially by someone that I counted as a friend, who I talk to regularly about nudism, nude resorts, beaches and cruises. His reaction surprised me when I asked him to read the blog before it was published.

He said that swinging and nudism were in “conflict” (he used the quotes, so I added them here). I told him that I did not think that this was true and it was only a conflict if he made it a conflict. I do not see a conflict. I believe swingers should be able to go to nudist resorts and events, and nudists should be able to go to swingers resorts and events. Why not? He seemed to have the same automatic pushback that I was getting from people in the “nudist world,” and it comes down to simple discrimination.

It’s Discrimination

You can say what you want, but no matter how you try to spin it, we are talking about discrimination for people who choose a different relationship style. They are not referring to sexual activities or people breaking rules, they go further than that by saying that there is a conflict, that we cannot co-exist, and that we are not wanted because of how we love and what we do in private. That is what discrimination looks like.

My nudist friend said that nudists cannot and should not support a “sexually open lifestyle”, and herein lies the problem. Why does he have to put the word “sexually” in front of open lifestyle. Do swingers have sex? Yes, of course, but so do people in closed relationships. You wouldn’t say sexually closed relationships, just like you wouldn’t say a sexually gay lifestyle. Pretty much all relationships, regardless of their relationship style, have sex; the choice on how people love, who they love, and how they express that love is that person’s business and should have nothing to do with whether they can go to a resort, hotel, or cruise ship, regardless of their individual relationship style choice.

Many straight and gay people are non-monogamous, and that is never a problem at a nudist resort, but if you are a couple who is non-monogamous, you are not welcome at many nudist resorts, and that is not fair. It is absolutely discriminatory and even more so hypocritical. Nudists are a group of people who are not in the norm, but they desperately want to be accepted by society, and they fight for their right to exist, similar to people in open and poly relationships. If nothing else, they should find kindred spirits instead of considering each other enemies.

Look, I get it, some people cannot control themselves and they push the limits or even cross them, but they should be dealt with regardless if they are single or part of a couple. I have no issue with a nudist resort that expels and bans someone for behavior that is against their rules, but when you start banning people when they have not broken any rules and they do not aspire to break any rules, then you are crossing the line. You are strictly banning them for their sexual orientation or their relationship style. And again, that is discriminatory.

I would bet that the most people who are kicked out of nudist resorts are not couples, but singles (and I bet most of them are single men).

Not all Nudists Discriminate

Not all nudists discriminate like this, and I have been impressed with some people, who I consider genuine naturists, who have kept an open mind and found out for themselves if there is a real “conflict” between the two alternative communities. I wanted to do an interview with Nick & Lins from the Naked Wanderings and asked them if they were OK with being on our website. They asked me what the purpose of the interview was and I explained that I have a large audience of people who are in open relationships who enjoy nude travel and I thought their blog gives excellent insight into nudist resorts, beaches and destinations all over the world. I wanted to give our audience a place where they could read up on nudist places because, like me, I am more than just a “swinger”, I am a nudist, a father, a husband, a veteran, an entrepreneur, and many other things. I can be more than one thing and I do not need to be defined by one aspect of my life.

You can read their interview here.

They have historically gone to strictly nudist destinations, but were invited to check out Desire Riviera Maya and Desire Pearl. So they went and gave their honest reviews of each, and they found that they could indeed feel welcome and comfortable at a “lifestyle” resort after all.

Here are their reviews of Desire Riviera Maya and Desire Pearl. They also did a blog on whether or not a nudist could feel comfortable at these resorts, even though they were considered lifestyle resorts. You can read that blog here.

They were courageous to write this, as their target audience is not swingers, their audience are nudists and naturists, but they wanted to report on what they found and they were honest in their review. Instead of judging people and resorts without really knowing, they decided to open their mind and find out. Did they think that nudists could go to lifestyle events? They told me that it’s essential to be open-minded enough to see both as parallel communities that overlap here and there.

They also said “Never during the time we were there we felt forced in any way or made uncomfortable. In fact, the biggest rule at those types of resorts is “No means NO”. Cross that line and you’re out! We were respected as nudists and we respected those with other ideas.” (you really should go read the entire article).

I asked them to read my last blog about the hypocrisy, and they said that most of it stems from a lack of knowledge. While most of the “swingers” at nudist places hide in secrecy, the only ones that the resorts know about are the ones crossing the lines and breaking the rules. This is a good point and part of the reason why I am speaking up. As a nudist who follows the rules, I hope more people like me will stand up and be seen so that nudists have positive experiences with people in open lifestyles.

The truth is that most discrimination is caused by a lack of knowledge. It’s easy to discriminate against people you don’t know and don’t understand. Getting to know people who are different from you, stretching your limits, and opening your mind often brings tolerance and acceptance.

It’s time to Stand Tall and Be Seen

Our Sexual Freedom Parade is an event where thousands of people in open relationships march down the street (Bourbon St) so we can be seen. We are not anyone’s enemy; we are not comprised of rule breakers and trouble makers. We are your neighbors, your employees and employers, your family and your friends. We deserve to be able to go to any event, hotel, cruise, resort or church, without being discriminated against.

There are plenty of clothing-optional places that most nudists would not feel comfortable at, and it is great that they have the opportunity to go to resorts that do not have sexy theme parties and play spaces. But those of use who are both swingers and nudists should be allowed to go to places like this too. It should be our choice and access should not be based on anything that happens behind closed doors.

AANR was founded in 1913, and in some ways, it is still stuck in the past and has not evolved with the times. Thankfully, many of their rules for tattoos and piercings have also evolved. Now, it’s time for AANR to open its arms to nudists who might have a different relationship style but still share the same ideals about social nudism as the rest of its members. Because the next generations that are coming up are not afraid of talking about sexuality, they are more gender fluid, and they will not see the “conflict” that the older generation continues to propagate. Their numbers are decreasing, and they will lose relevance if they do not evolve.

A Call to Action

We are not advocating for people to boycott AANR or nudist resorts with strict policies; we are asking people to go to these places and be seen. Wear your upside-down pineapple hat, or proudly use your Naughty hand fan, or put a pineapple sticker on your golf cart or on your RV. In other words, be seen for who you are with clear signs, but without behavior that would go against any of their rules.

You should be able to wear a rainbow if you are part of the LGBT+ community, you should be able to wear red, white, and blue if you want to show people you are patriotic, and we should be able to wear pineapples, too. There is no need to aggressively flaunt your sexuality, no matter if that is straight, gay, monogamous, non-monogamous, or poly. But we should not have to hide in the shadows either.

A valued friend once told me “if you do not challenge the status quo, you can’t expect change.”

We do not want to turn nudist resorts into swinger resorts; that is not the point of this blog. The point is that we should be able to coexist without fear that we might be discovered as poly or non-monogamous and then kicked out. We are not looking for a “conflict”, we are hoping to avoid one by being seen more so we can build bridges between different communities where we have common enemies and misconceptions. The more people who get to know us, the more tolerance will follow.